If you’re in need of an escape, I’ve got the place for you. A few months back I “dragged” John to Spa Solage in Calistoga where we received the signature mudslide treatment. The treatment is $98 per person and includes full use of the 20,000-square-foot health and wellness center. Even if you don’t plan on staying the night, this spa experience is worth the trip alone. We arrived a few hours early to soak up the sun and lounge by the co-ed mineral pool. The pool is filled with geo-thermal waters and maintained at a 98-degree body temperature. The men and women’s separate soaking pools feature heated mineral pools, cold plunge pools, eucalyptus steam rooms and outdoor showers.

The Mud Experience is made up of three parts: The Mud, The Waters & The Rest. The spa therapist invites you to the “Mud Bar” where you choose from four essential oils– Revitalizer (my choice), Mood Enhancer, Stress Relief and Muscle Soother (John’s choice).

THE MUD: With mud buckets in hand, we were ushered into a heated stone slab shower room, complete with a private patio and outdoor showers. We were instructed to slather (gray) mud all over each other and then lay on the heated stone with ice-cold towels and cucumber slices on our eyes. Yes, we looked as ridiculous as it sounds. No, I could not stop laughing. The mud hardens and cracks, drawing out the skins toxins and impurities. 25 minutes later, the therapist knocked, telling us it was time to shower. Use the overhead rain shower, it feels so refreshing against the heated stone.

THE WATERS: After drying off, we were taken into another room with two soaking tubs filled with mineral water and bath salts (get your mind out of the gutter). The Waters portion is meant to promote sleep, ease tension and rehydrate the body.

THE REST: The therapist wraps you in a sound/ vibration chair designed “to float you into a zone of stress-free harmonic balance”. The chair vibrates along to the music projected through Beats by Dre headphones. Apparently 20 minutes of sleep in this room is equivalent to two hours of REM sleep. Neither of us fell asleep.

I texted the above picture to my parents. My mom’s response, “Can we please not go there when I visit in October?” aka you WEIRD CALIFORNIANS!